Sunday, September 7, 2014


I'm not gonna lie. Life is hard. SO hard. But I'm remembering to be thankful. I'm remembering to savor. Because even if life is hard, it is my life. My only life. These day-to-days even when I accomplish nothing other than keeping my little boys alive and fed, these are my life. We're in the thick of it. We're smack in the middle (and at the beginning, depending on perspective) of doing the thing, and we get one shot at it.

I'm extraordinarily hard on myself. I am realizing more and more how many people are hard on themselves and I am no exception. I didn't really think of myself as a perfectionist, but perhaps there is a bit of that in me. It could just be plain ol' insecurity. It could be a lot of things. (By the way, I'm going through Beth Moore's So Long Insecurity with four precious daughters of God, and it is like a fresh glass of iced tea in July. Every person on the planet could benefit from that book and I strongly recommend you get a copy!)

But I'm easing up a bit.

I am a week behind on my scripture memory. Or a year plus a week, depending how you look at it. I started the Romans Project last year and drifted away from the habit around the end of July or August. Life happens, and I allowed it to get in the way. So I started back with it this year in the middle of July, and am behind.
I was beating myself up about this. This and a host of other 'started but unfinished' projects... like the laundry for example.

But there is grace. God offers grace abundant, and we've only but to receive it.

And I am behind on my scripture memory, but, God graciously reminded me, at least I'm doing it. God's precious words, while maybe not in the quantity or at the pace I would have liked, are still being trained into my heart. Little is better than none at all; praise Jesus.

We took a walk yesterday. The dinner dishes weren't washed. My son may have still had a bit of pizza sauce on his face.
But we laughed together.

My hair is graying and I'm not even 30.
But I have hair.

My best girlfriend is states away.
But I have a precious friend.

The sink is full of dishes and the diapers need washed.
But I have a family to clean up after.

My back aches and my arms and neck are sore.
But these are all likely from caring for and carrying my kids.

These are hard eucharisteo and gifts only from God.
Every good and perfect gift comes from God. Our father.
I have a Father.
I have gifts from that Good Father.
I am thankful.

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